Chuck Norris....again

[Duck Rogers]

You just have to try this:
1) Open Google
2) Type in "find Chuck Norris" (with inverted commas)
3) Don't click search...rather click on "I'm feeling lucky"

[ICEMAN]

Duckster,

Thats brilliant ...... but the question begs to be asked as to how exactly you came across this pearl of wisdom........

[Duck Rogers]

Duckster,

Thats brilliant ...... but the question begs to be asked as to how exactly you came across this pearl of wisdom........

Well, someone reported me to him when they saw me wearing this t-shirt and I heard he was looking for me. So, I thought I'd go and find him first and tell him off!

[Aerosan]

Eend, suip jy al weer op jou eie

[Big-D]

Must admit - Staring into Ducks eyes scares me more than ol Chuck

Put a hair-clipper in Duck's hand and I start running

D

[Antikza]

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

[Thermal]

Here is a few I got from a lekker site!!!


1. Chuck Norris invented C++ after roundhouse kicking C - TWICE.
2. Chuck Norris is the Domain controller.
3. Chuck Norris has the IP 0.0.0.0
4. Chuck Norris can ping 256.256.256.256 and get a reply.
5. Chuck Norris can hack into ANY bank with his palmtop.
6. Chuck Norris’ computer boots into Windows XP Pro even though only DOS 6.2 is installed.
7. Chuck Norris’ email address is ChuckNorris. He IS the internet domain.
8. Chuck Norris is mailer-daemon.
9. Chuck Norris is Dr Watson.
10. format c: is the request to have Chuck Norris come roundhouse kick your PC.
11. Chuck Norris has Windows XP on his Apple MAC (Sorry Chuck, that’s already been done!)
12. Chuck Norris never gets the page cannot be displayed error.
13. Machine code is another name for Chuck Norris language.
14. Chuck Norris CPU doesn’t have a fan.
15. Chuck Norris can write DVDs on floppy drive.
16. Chuck Norris invented the internet.
17. Chuck Norris can paste pics in Notepad.
18. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his 14400k modem & thats how we got ADSL.
19. Chuck Norris’s Dot matrix printer prints photos - in colour.
20. Chuck Norris uses Notepad as a database.
21. Chuck Norris’ PC speaker gives him 7.1 DTS surround sound.
22. Chuck Norris monitor has no glare…no-one glares at Chuck Norris.
23. Chuck Norris can edit PDF files.
24. Chuck Norris rips CDs with his hands.
25. Chuck Norris can download Metallica mp3s using Naspter.
26. Chuck Norris has a yahoo account with hotmail.
27. Chuck Norris has an Intel CPU on an AMD motherboard.
28. Chuck Norris can program a MAC with excel macros.
29. Chuck Norris website has never had a hit - Nobody hits Chuck Norris’ website.