How not to play golf

[Andre]

*A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises,
two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. *


*Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?" "Well, I was
having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we
both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle. We went to look for
them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had
something white at its rear end." *
*"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf
ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of
the cow's fanny. Still holding the cow's tail up,
I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!'" *
*"I don't remember much after that"*