Surprise - Thurs 8 March 15h00

[andreb]

Cowboy sitting in a bar and women walks up to him and chats.
She asks, "what do you do?"
Cowboy says, "Im a cowboy"
She says, "what does a cowboy do?"
Cowboy says "Well, I wear a hat, ride a horse, lasso cows, etc."
She says "Oh"
Cowboy Says "and what are you?"
She says "I'm a lesbian"
Cowboy says "What is that?"
She says "Well, it's lile this... all day long I think of women, I love women, I want to ahve sex with womern, I want to kiss women, etc"
Cowboy says "Oh"
Women leaves...
Later a man comes up to the cowboy and says "Say fella, what are you?"
Cowboy says "Well, I used to think I was a cowboy, but now I think Im a lesbian!"

[Low Level]

Not a joke, but very funny.


This is an advertisement for a motorcycle - can't attach the pic - just a new Suzuki GSX R.


Post Date:
Aug 7th, 2006

Expire Date:
Sep 6th, 2006


$10,000

06' Suzuki GSXR 1000

Farmington, UT 84025 - Aug 7, 2006

2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It's been adult ridden, all wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. I'm selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently "do whatever the f*** you want" doesn't mean what I thought. Call me, Steve. (801)867-8292

[Bennie Vorster]

Ok Sorry Guys, time out.

I'm keeping the Motorola C261 for another date as there seems to be no Secrets or Boo-Boo's at your fields.

Sadley I did not do what I intended as well and this will fortenatly give us the opertunaty to give it another try. TO SET A NEW RECORD FOR THE MOST MEMBERS ONLINE AT A TIME. WAS GRATE FUN ANYHOW. So please let me know for when we can make the next date. So what you guys think?

Cheers Bennie

[andreb]

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."


A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No miss, they're dead."


The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the policeman said. The lad replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without a ticket.


A truck driver was driving along on the motorway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No actually, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol."


A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow." A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class stifled their laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student and said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

[Duck Rogers]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him
in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns
to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, "Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."

[Dreamer]

Thanks Bennie, was a great idea and fun....... :D

[Duck Rogers]

Last one......

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you
have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is
embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you
tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know
most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today??"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into
a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you", he said.

The Receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in
this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong
with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."


The man replied,"You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"

"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.

"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"

"I can't pee out of it," he replied.



Now, do I win a prize or not......?

[Wingless Nut]

Dreamer wrote;
.

What was a stupid remark?

Dreamer, if you are from a non-Christian persuasion, I can understand your ignorance and insensitivity. Your sense of humour is otherwise appreciated, but I ask you to kindly refrain from blasphemy (or a play on it) which to some like myself, exceeds offensive boundaries. Other than the fact that I don't hold it against you, I have nothing further to comment on the subject.

[andreb]

Maths....

[Low Level]

I think Bennie must give the last prize to the member who posts the last on this thread.

[Bennie Vorster]

Guys you all actually deserve some prises !!!

[John Young]

I think Bennie must give the last prize to the member who posts the last on this thread.

Now that would create a "circular reference".

[Wingless Nut]

Bennie, you just have to give it to the Duck. I'm still splitting my sides.

[Duck Rogers]

So then.....send me that last cellphone....or else!

[Dreamer]

Dreamer, if you are from a non-Christian persuasion, I can understand your ignorance and insensitivity. Your sense of humour is otherwise appreciated, but I ask you to kindly refrain from blasphemy (or a play on it) which to some like myself, exceeds offensive boundaries. Other than the fact that I don't hold it against you, I have nothing further to comment on the subject.

Thanks for the reply, a few comments from my side.......I am not from a "non-christian persuasion" , I dont view the joke as blasphemous in any way. I think perhaps we take things a bit too seriously sometimes, humour is humour and I am sure I will not be banished to hell for my joke.
We are certainly not here to get into a religeous debate on what is or is not blashphemous so..

That said , those are my opinions.I understand others may not agree so if anyone was offended I apologise............Now back to microlights :D