I needs some help

[Duck Rogers]

Ag demmit Jorrie! Ek't my nou simpel gelag man. Antie Rose het sommer opgestaan uit die bed om te kom kyk wat in die voorhuis aangaan!
Ek dink die groen mannetjie moet meer groente eet om sy bene sterker te maak. Help die man asseblief. Julle het mos baie groente daar oppie plaas

[nicow]

[Leprachaun]

Ja Jorrie , jy se die kat loop staan want sy petrol is op ???
Waar kry jy aldie stories vqandaan ?? en by the way ek het nie my been gebreek nie , net die skroewe verwyder .
Maar soos jt kan sien was ek weer Vrydag op die been -
Waars die reen ??
Lepreachaun

[witwillem]

Jis this wind is darem te erg wragtig . Here by us this blerrie wind is blowing for 3 weeks now and everyday there is so n oefenlopie , but no rains yet . We start plowing the lands for the mieles but it is rooistof and swart turf wif cracks so big the rotax filters can hide in them . My pa say we must stop maoning cause it will rain when the time is ripe , but yislaaik it looks like this time is never coming mow .
Uit moedelooshuid we makes a few dops and we talk wif Jan Breytenbach the gif smous nad he say we must think rite and it will rains so we follows he wisdom . We takes a few lekker stywe doppe and we close the windows and the curtains so it is dark in the house. .You must climb under the bed and wen it is quiet you must get some sleep . I climb under the kooi and bump my head on the beds base and put my arm in the koos (pispot) when i slides under the bed . We has some stywe dops and we lies in each ones own house till your mind is clear because it is quiet now and then we gets some sleep . Ja we sleeps from 11 o clocks till after 4 o clocks when the nadors wakes you up . Jis this blits makes you thirsty , Ou jan his lips are white wif the groot droogte . We gets some food from my ma and Jan say we must go to the bioscope now so that aour minds is clean so we get into his passat and we go to the carousel . Jis this place is grand but the look us skeef wif out kaki broeks and shirts , but we pay and we see the bioscopes .
This jan man i think he works wif a plan , He gets big cups coke and popcorn and we sit and check all the bioscopes.
When we have enough we decide to go home and the mossies are starting to makes noises . Ja It was nearly five o clock when we leave for home . Just as I sit down on my bed my pa comes in and say did we hear the wind is still . Ja it stop blowing . and he say he is proud that we get up so early to woek . He do not no we just get home . Jan Breytenbach he must tree the lande af so we can buy the gif for the lands from him .
Later in the day the son brands him good when he gets back -m ja here on the vlakte you get niks for niet - jy werk vir jou geld . Ou Jan he go wif a nice order and a big kopseer . But today the wind is still blowing and the rain is not falling yet
willempie

[Carel]

willempie,

there on the vlakte life is too easy if can drink blits in the morning. By the way what movies has you watched at the carousel. When I was a student (about 30 years back) that was only place for grootmens movies.

Do not worry about the koos, I step into it once a weekend when on the farm, now I have learned not to use it.

[witwillem]

Jis today was close , as we boertjies say amper my gat gesien. Jis this weather is not jou maat . I takes off from our farm to flies to Nylstroom and as I flies over our lande wif the mielies and waterlemons and spanspeks I suddenly sees this big grey clouds cover the horison.
I fly a little bit on and the cloud is not so low so I flies on some more , Wen I wants to turn aroundsmI see this clods is behind me as wel . Jis now I see big troubles as I cant go back so I decides to go up . Ja up overs this cloud so I can see ifs I can see Nylstroom in the far . Jirre now my troubles gets even bigger , is like one big dons kombers as far as the i can see, I calls on the icom but it is very quiet , no other blerrie fool is flying like this Jorrie van der walt. Today you see your agterkant I finks , Ja not even my pa or my uncle speaks back on the I com . I thinks i must stay calm because I needs time to thinks because we always maak a plan , Ja I need a blerrie good plan now to get me out of this trouble .
I feel my fone ring in my pocket and is it probably the groen mannejie wif the short fingers who wnats to no where is Jorrie vd walt because he must come checks my trike today . I cant talk onthe fone because my keel is droog and I strike big panick now . I has a full tank of pretrol and I can fly for maybe four hours so i chekcs my Garmin and I stay straight for Nylstroom. I stay hoog above the clouds and when the garmin say i am in Nylstoom I flies a circuit for about tem minutes and then I see the opening in the clouds . I check my plan to see the altitude for the runway and I go in . JIs I nearly had troubles in my broek as I can only see little bits and suddenly I see one big tar road , I sommer decide to land and its the runway by Nylstroom .I was very please to land and when I hit the mags switches i is very happy , Ja Jong Jorrie het amper vandag sy gat gesien , Tru . Paul the veearts was busy wif his ap and when he is finish they want to no why i is so white I say cause my name is wit willem Ja boet is was very close . Tot laters Wit willem

[witwillem]

Jis , jis people hiers ek weer , Jorrie (witwillem )is back now . We finis planting the mielies, sunflowers , groundnuts and some cottons and the dear Lord blessed us wif lots of rain . Ja boet our werf is like paradys , green as far as the eye can see.
Just bfore krismis we goes to Durban to oom Giels place daar naby Margate . Oom giel is a man of stature , he knows the seee and he vang blerrie big fishes .
We goes there for a family byeenkoms and we will sommer go fish wif him
Early that morning we gets n his boat the morning star , I fink moaning star mabee a better name and before we gets to the leplek one of my kussing starts getting green in the face . when oom Giel stops the boat this kussing of me he kots all over the boat . Oom giel he has so n lekker skuins laggie when he see this but he dont go home till we have some fish in the boat . My kussing say he will buy fish at the market but he wants to go out now so he cut the anker tou wif the bait knife . Oom Giel is the #@$% in and we goes home he calls all us some funny english names and is very cross . When we get back my kussing is all over sick again - Ja boet I feels not so good also . We go home and sleep a bit and then we go to the fish shop where we buys some penn 49 reels and lekker rods . The abdul say we mus use spark plug toe ofen our gooi other wise we will spemd lots of mone on sikers . We stand on the beach and we line up and it is one kraaines after the other . I lose nearly half of my new line and my uncle say we are blerrie onnosel .
I think I got a plan and take a side swipe wif the Penn49 and I laat waai and it sounds like a sweepslag and it goes far , Ja verder as Oom Giel kan gooi . He get s cross again and I oefen a bit more and when I laat waai wif another side swipe he get a blerrie big skrik and fall down on the sand . My pa thinks he has a heart attac and run to the bakie to get somthing to help but I see he gets even redder in the face when he see,me . Hen erols on his back in the sand like a jack russeltie wif blou bosluise and when pa give him n staywe dop Mellow-wood he pointb to his back and pa pulls his shirt up and wragtig now i see real troubles , Ja boet the blerrie NGK sparkplug hit him tussen die niere , kolskoot . That was the end of our fising . Ja no mre of that stuff . We goes to balieto and I meets wif Oom Dawie Jakson who takes me for a fip in his trike - Jirre these ous fly in strong winds , but when you flies over the see you dont bop and jive like us and the five o three is blerrie strong there - Ja it was nice to see all the familie and friends but itb was nicer to be back on our own werf again , Ja i start my Windlass and it please my souls to fly over our hard work as we see the friut of our labour . This year we did not plantb spanspeks or waterlemons as all the other boere here is doin so we plants lots of knoffels and we will hit the jackpot , maybe I will get a Aquilla later this year Groetnes vir almal Willempie

[nicow]

Willempie,die reen is goed-ek dink jy kan maar die Aquilla bestel.

[witwillem]

Jis Manne , dir reent darem hier , As ek innie lanne loop en jy sit op jou se hurke dan hoor jy hoe die mielies groei , maar julle wat daar innie stad bly verstaan nie sulke dinge nie . This week we have boeresport here on our vlakte - die children from pienaarsrivier and Crecy must have some fun wif the groentjies from the landbou colledge . Ja here we always welcomes new peoples to the vlakte . I have to cable tie the windlass sebattery cause the flat pigs got into the stoor and wen they dkrik they run quick and break the battery box of . Wen I fly saturdag morning early we see the flatpigs is in the land and id eating our mieleis klaar. My pa say we take the jeep and we must make rook ribbejie and salami from the pigs . Pa and my uncle drive the Willis and I jump off the back cause these flatpigs is very clever - ja they is uitgeslaap . I bekruip them an wen I let loop wif the dubble loop they run like hell but I gets two , Just as I want to shoots again I must make a mouse dog skrik and it lets loop and pisses over me . Jis this is bigg troubles - Dits stinks terribly - ja is like the asgate wher they trow al the gemors from the slagpale . Pa and my uncle they load the falt pigs and I has to walk home -I stnk too much they say . Ja sulke helle , they lag lekker . When I get home ma give me wim and a brush and say i must go to the shower to get the stink out its is terrible she say . I jump in . they lifeboy wim , colgat maak daai muishond net mooi niks it is wors than n perrepis bos . it stink great . Later the day we go play boere sport at the landbou college and I have few friebs - I wonder why . When it is time for us to,play rugby against the dorpenaars I is the hooker , Every scrunm I gets the bal and when I fall in the gaterlyn and I sweat nobody touch me . We win 26 /3 and I get the cup for most points . We cant got to the braai we have to go to the troue of Kurt and Bobby , Ja us van er Waltsis also invited . My pa an ma go , but I cant because i have to go fly to see if the wind wont get the muishond of my skin , jis this thing can make a man stink jon , but nouja this was jus another day on this vlakte - Greotnis till laters Willempie

[witwillem]

Jis , jis peoples , I must tell you the story of a flight in the taaiger mof
Ja I has one neighbor old Sjeert Borchards , he got one Taaiger mof which fly in the big war , I not sure if it was the Boerewar or what , but he say it is a safe plane to fly .
It got two wings up front so there is spare if one break . Ja Wednesday I sit here on moed verlore vlakte and I fink when is this blerrie wind go stop , her it waais all the reismier back to there mammies , ja if they dont drown the waai away wif the gras halm they hang onto . Ou Sjeert is a man wif a big checkbook and a man wif a long belt , ja he has big lands here and hemakes the Kooperasie silo full wif one oes.
He drinks this trekker blue koffie ma makes and he say we must fly to Johannesburg cause he needs some mekaniek to check this Taaiger mof of his as it is sulke tyd again. he say he will pick me up the next day early so we fly to Rand airport . Jis I cannot sleep I am exited , I go sit in front of this taaiger mof .
He get me at five and i put in the kosmandjie and Satnley flask and he say we must roer onse gatte . He checks this Taaiger mof and sat I must get in front . He close the onderdeur and say I must touch noufing . only when he say contak I mus switch the switch . He turn this big popeller till he is blue in the face and when he say kontak I make so and this Taaiger mof it shakes all the last two weeks stof of in just one go . The speedometr jumps up and down and the oil pressure is going beserk . He jumps in the back and say I ust put on so a funny leer keps and some motorbike brilletjies . Now I looks like tannt san At Crecy poskantoor wen we get boxes.
He turn this blerrie thing into the wind , push the petrol oopen and loers over the side , Jis this thing you kannie sien over the bonnet . This day ou Jorrie think he will join the vinks in the nes because nobody can se where this monster is go now . Suddenlie it tail lift up and away we go , Ja this Taaiger mof is flying , jirre maar dis lekker say ou Sjeert over the speaker , he say we fly into a head wind , I takes a hap on mas bread wif fresh tamietie and skaap bous and ou sjeert , he sommer eats so three toebrootjis op n slag . I por koffie in the bveeker and he drinks it like a honger hond , I feel a bit naar so I dont have koffie .We fly till my maag is skraal again ou Sjeert he say the brerrie wind it very strong we make 11 myl per uur .
Just as we come near wonderboom the auntie wif the squeekie voice say we must continue as we are Ou Sjeert say we go to Rand and she call back and say we must land or go home because the is donderwolke .
Oun Sjeert he tune the taaiger mof petrol to aaidel and we turns around to go home . The wind is now strong . We use half a tank to Wonderboom and wen we see the Hangar on his plaas we is still vol . he say we vlieg met Goevwerments petrol now . We land just as the clouds get near and i nearly beskuit myself case the blerrie Taaiger mof has no breaks , ja he stop in the langgras net to the runway . Jis I must say I was baie danbaar when I open the onderdeur and I get out .
Ja so this is the day of thursday when we fly the Taaiger mof of ou Sjeert , Ja here on the vlakte life is good and I still like my Windlass better , witwillem

[witwillem]

Jis peoples - some ous makes me think jong but they its orite, maar ek weetie ???
Dis nou my ou pel Keppie , ja he used to be called van vannemerwe , here by Rust der Winter he got a kerrage , ja ou van is almal se pel , or so it was till one ou bliksemmed the ou van out of him a few years ago .
Ou keppie as he was called after this affere is the oqwnwr and mekeniek at this garage - he is a real piet fix - vannie windpomp to die baiesukkel se pomp , you name it he fixes it , h sometime fixes so ous wifes , ja he is a real Piet fix this vannemerwe .
Ja I mays not work on my Windlass so I flies to the kerrage and tells ou Keppie to change the gearbox oils and put new spark plugs and petrol filter and checks the battery and he say I must come next day to collect . Ja and so it is I come the next day and wragtag toe skuit die honne oppie kettang . ja this is the storie .
When ou Keppie is not to busy he farms on his plot next to the dorp - he grow some varkens and plant some mielies and pepoene , ja he grows these big oranje peoenne - every year he get the prise at Settlers landbou school for the biggest and the heaviest pepoene .
Every day when he locks up he goes to the bar for n kappie / loop doppie and sommer talks shit wif the ous there .
Hoe later hoe kwater till ou Hessie come get him wif the koekeroller and the 3 orrelpyp vannemerwe kinnerjies , ja sulke snot neus snuiter thes vannemerwejies .
Ja so it goes day after day and so it goes on and ou keppie he kry n verskriklike dors for the drinks and he talks more shit every time . Last years paepoenoes was majestic , blerrie groot peoene he tell all the drinkebroers , The pepoens is so jigantiek he and ou hessie must take the treksaag and saag it miidel throe to get it on the datsun bakkie , ja dis moer groot pepoens . The jong vannemerwejies they is met die helm gebore ou Hessie say , they are wonderkinders he say cause they can play red river wellie wif the stingels that is so big soos die minsipale se water pype .
The saagsels he give to the varkens for a week at a time .yes this is moerse pepoene theseand cutting thems makes a man thirsty and so ou Keppie he starts drinking the gin - ja first it was a half jack wif his toebrooijies and pepoen koekies at teetime , later so n regmaker at eetings time and then a loop doppie at koffie time before the customers look for him because he work is blerrie sleg now and he is in the bar by fife . Ja the gine gets him now = its gordons , Bombay blue , Tangery and some others and its makes him dors ja he call them his pelle , ja he takes a jack wif him where he goes just in case he say . Ja and now he gets very beneuk ja sommers skuins weg bedonnerd , ja he is big and strong but the gin is getting him ja . Saturday when I go get my Windlass I find no Keppie any where. I go to his house and Ou hessie say he is wif the varkens , ja he is skoon @#%$#@ she say he come home like the devil is in him she say he has got varken oe and he panel beats her and the snot neus vannemerwejies and now he is in the varkens kamp ja he talking to the varkens.
When I get to the varkens hok i see a big kommotion , ja I see a man wif varkens oege screaming at the varken s and the varkens all lookings at him , the big bear varkens he say he has enough and he rolls ou keppie innie stront - ja man this varken rolls him wig the tollneus till he is on his pens in the varkens mis and water and the big toll neus check him out and suddenly its is still , ja yous can hear a pennie drop they say , suddenly ou keppie say he want to go home cause the gin mors met hom nou and he say it is time for n nuwe begin - I takes the wash pipe and spry him clean and here is ou keppie on his nees asking ou Hessie and the snotneus vannemerwejies to forgive his sondes ja he say he come huis toe now nad the gin is klaar now . I go get the windluss but it rain so I will gets it on Mondays again . Greetings tot later Wit willem

[nicow]

[Tailspin]

[Leprachaun]

Ja Jorrie Ja , en hoe vlieg die Windlass na die diens ?????

[Alkemac]

...a month and no updates...