lawyers

[LarryMcG]

The madam opened the brothel door in London and saw a rather
dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or
early fifties.

'May I help you sir?' she asked.

'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.

'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would
prefer someone else', said the madam.

'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged
$5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand
dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an
hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see
Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights
in a row as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts. The
price was still $5000.

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they
went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was
astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid
Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, 'No one has ever been
with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'.

The man replied, ' Exeter '.
'Really', she said. 'I have family in Exeter .'

'I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She
asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'

The moral of the story is that 3 things in life are certain:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

[mikemat]

Ouch! It sounds like you might have been at the wrong end of some messy matrimonial litigation!

[Tumbleweed]

Pride of lions, single file, on the hunt. Suddenly, one feels something on his arse and turns

" Jis Oke, not so close"

Awhile later, feels a wet sensasion on his arse and as he turns around, sees the one behind him with his tongue protruded. " Thats fu#$#%^&ing disgusting, whats wrong with you?"

"Sorry, I just ate a lawyer and can't get the sh#$$t taste outa my mouth"