AVAILABLE NOW - EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN

[Quentin Ferreira]

AVAILABLE NOW - EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN

ALL WELCOME


Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, lunch will be provided as will instructions as how to take lunch from its packaging without a woman to hold it for you.

Topics covered on this course include:

DAY ONE

TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (pictures and graphics)

DISHES & CUTLERY; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate amongst a panel of experts

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote - Helpline and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down whilst shouting - Open forum


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation and anger management

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Role playing and slideshow

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class, NOT your secretary

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available (male counsellers sadly unavailable-none passed training course


Quentin Ferreira
Newcastle
ZU-ATP

[Splinter]

DAY ONE

TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
No but thats why you have a wife!

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
The one the wife carries, the other she washes

DISHES & CUTLERY; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Dont need a dishwasher when you are married chap, woman have small feet to stand closer to the sink

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down whilst shouting - Its just easy this way


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Tuff one, in the fridge?? Why didnt the wife buy milk?

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Only when the wife is not in the car! When she is in the car she gets mad on the way home and decides to rather wash dishes than play with the TV remote! Win Win

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Unless the has a car with PDC, yes

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Give het the limited credit card and finish watching the rugby

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Only if you support the Bulls


OK OK no need to throw me with stones, just kidding!!!!

[Quentin Ferreira]

SPLINTER.........

Very well done!!!!!!
You just passed that with 100%!!!!

Love it.......

LETS SEE IF WE GET SOME MORE TO COPY AND PASTE AND GIVE THERE INPUT
ON ALL THOSE POINTS!!



Quentin ferreira
Newcastle
ZU-ATP

[zucac]

looking for a W.I.F.E. who will do the Washing ,Ironing,Finnng, Etc

[Thatchman]

Why do woman have smaller feet than men?......................................So they can get closer to the sink.





Why did the woman cross the road?................................................Who cares? What's she doing out of the kitchen?

[Old, Fat and Hairy]

Just a feeler to gauge interest:- Any blokes keen on classes where you learn to bake bread, make pasta (home made) and various sauces, make real man size burgers and so on?












Did I mention we're planning to run these classes at a brewery?

[MILO]

See what happens when not ironing, washing or cooking, its a dangerous (mans) world out there!

[Low Level]

What to do when the wife sits with you and guys in the living room watching rugby ??
.
.
.
.
.
Take her back to the kitchen, and shorten the chain a little bit.

[Quentin Ferreira]

DO MEN REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

'I would have been released today.'