Ze dream

[Boet]

The European Commision has just announced an agreement whereby English will become the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the alternative.
To make the language easier for other Europeans, however, the British gov has agreed to simplify spelling and phase in a five-year programme known as "Euro English"
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". This is sertain to appease sivil servants. Next the hard "c" wilbe dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph"is replased with "f".This will make words like "fotograf' 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more kompliketed changes are possible. Gov will enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" ans "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" can be droped from ze vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After ze fifz year ve vil hav a reali sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl of difikultis and evrivun vil find it eazi to understand each ozer.
Ze dream vil finali kum tru!!!!

[Boet]

MMMMMm. Random thought. How about brining Fanaklo to the foreground.....

[cjkrit]

A boat in rough seas was in trouble and eventually sinking. The captain made his broadcast: "May day, may day, we are sinking, we are sinking!!"
At that time a german speaking guy was on duty in the radio room of sea rescue. Goes on the air and replies; "This is Conrad, what are you zinking about?"

[Wallaby]

Boet, was die Sondag te lank vir jou??? Waar kommen jy aan allen goeters wat jy op hierdie heel mooi rusdag kwyt rake?

[Boet]

Ek le siek in die bed en het niks beter om te doen nie, nou praat ek maar nonsens met die groter diere. Bronchitis. Ek hoes soos n Texan plain roker laat my longe ampers soos vinkneste by myse ore uithang. ...... Jonge, waar hebe jij geleerd om Nederlands te proberen?





Whe you are 7, today is forever and tomorrow is never. When you are 70, tomorrow becomes yesterday even before you realized it was today.

[swiftprop]

Hello Boet
Baie Goed. Hoop jy herstel vinnig van jou bronchitis en vuur weer vinnig op al agt silinders!
Groete
Andre

[Wallaby]

Ja Boet, ek kunnen niet so goet prate, maar ek projbeer my ook uitdrukken zo goed ek kunnen. Dat is wel goed zichtbaar dat geen vliegtuigen te zien is in de lucht bo Loeri....Moerlandspan niet. Ek weet dat jy krijgen heel swaar waar jy in heb katel moet bly. En de stijgende onrus oor jy urenlang in de katel moet blijven en ander mensen is besig om heerlik met dat spekgladde Bush Baby's rond te vliegen. .....Mannen en hun speelgoed .

[Brian]

Hi Boet

Snuif sweetaid. Dit help niks nie maar daai nasaldrip proe so bietjie beter

[Dreman55]

Clearly Boet is on some lekka medication Better double check I am sure the dosage is 2 teaspoons not tablespoons. Get better soon.

[Low Level]

I am sure the dosage is 2 teaspoons not tablespoons

.............2 tots maybe ?

[Boet]

Thanks for your best wishes. I had to go to the Fairet yesterday, to collect project X`s canopy. Siek lyf en al. now I am really feeling kak. Sal maar net my hand moet uit trek....

[The Agent]

PG PG PG

ok skiet my dan as dit nie snaaks is nie.

Edward Longshanks het met meer as 4 000 troepe Suid Afrika toe gekom om die
Boere op te fok...
By die Slagveld gekom sien hy doer in die verte op n koppie staan, n figuur
met blonde hare, kortbroek aan met n kam in sy kous.
"Rooinek!" skree die Boer op die koppie. "Kom hier jou Engelse moer! I
will gives you one helluva gatskop!"
Edward draai om na sy bevelvoerder en sê: "Take 20 men and deal with that
Boer upstart!"
Die bevelvoerder stuur 20 man om die Boer te gaan soek.
Tien minute later staan die Boer weer op die koppie. "You English donner!
Stuur the rest of your Rooinekke. I will fok them almal op!"
Edward raak nou ietwat geirriteerd en sê vir die bevelvoerder: "Take 100 men
and kill that little guttersnipe!"
Die bevelvoerder stuur 100 man oor die koppie.
'n Rukkie later staan die Boer so waar as wragtig weer op die randjie en
skree: "Hey, you soutpiel! Jou ma se moer! I is just warming up! Come
moer me dik, as jy kan !"
Toe verloor Edward kop en stuur 400 troepe om die Boer dood te maak.
Tien minute later staan die Boer weer daar. Sy klere is geskeur en sy hare
staan wild. Dis net snot, bloed en Klipdrif. Weer skree hy: "Is dat de
best you can do? You bloody vrot pommies! Come on, come souties! Kom klap
me stukkend!"
Rooi in die gesig sê Edward vir die bevelvoerder: "Take the rest of the men
and don't come back until you have killed him!"
Vyf minute later kom een van die troepe al gillende en vol bloed oor die
randjie gestorm: "Sir, Sir! skree hy, It's a trap! There are two of them!"

[Boet]

Moral of the story: Moenie met die Boere kak soek as daar Klipdrif met eish in die gedrang is nie.