Zuma jokes

[Ranger]

Zuma walks into a pub with a frog on his head. The barman asks "what happened?" The frog replies" I don't know but it started off as a wart on my arse."

[DarkHelmet]

Jacob Zuma, while visiting a Primary School, visits one of the
classrooms.

The class are in the middle of a discussion related to words and
their meanings. The teacher asks the new ANC leader if he
would like to lead the discussion on the word "Tragedy".

So the leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

Josiah stands up and offers: "If my friend, who lives on a farm,
is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him
dead, that would be a tragedy".

"No "says Zuma, that would be an "accident".

Beauty raises her hand: "If a school bus, carrying 50 children,
drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.
"I'm afraid not" explains Zuma, "That's what we would call a "great
loss".

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Jacob Zuma
searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me
an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the class Sipho raises his hand. In a quiet
voice he says: "If a jet, carrying you, your wife and most of the ANC
ministers, is struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would
be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims Zuma, "that's right. Now can you tell me why
that would be a tragedy?.

"Well says Sipho, "because it wouldn't be a great loss, and it
probably wouldn't be an accident either...

[Nkwazi]

Navorsers het bevind dat n gemiddelde vrouebors 1 - 1.5 kg weeg. Hulle probeer nou uitvind hoeveel n doos weeg, maar Jacob Zuma weier om op skaal te klim!!

[Nkwazi]

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks.

Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”



“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”



“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”



“Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?” St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice

telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”



“Where’s Jacob Zuma’s?” asked the man.



“Zuma’s clock is in God’s office. He’s using it as a fan.”

[Nkwazi]

We could go on and on and he's stepped into every one. The SABC pulled a programme on satirising our polititians, smacks like the start of freedom of speech flying out the window.

[Dre'man55]

Ja and next thing he is going to sue the lot of you as well