Microlighters

Wed Funny:

The Value of a Drink
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let
their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy


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An English ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a small
village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figures he'll have some fun, so he says to the Welshman "Can I talk to your dog?"

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid git"

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?

Dog: "Doin' alright"

Villager: (Look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (Pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play"

Villager: (Look of disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either. I think"

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Villager: (Absolutely dumfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements"

Villager: (Total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Villager: (In a panic) "That sheep's a liar!"

I guess the Ventriloquist should'nt go to Australie either!