Funny to get my mind of Rotax

[Henni]

Say "microlight" - think "Rotax" Say what? Maybe not much longer...
Will never forget what happened to Pepsi. Anyway, received this e-mail:
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One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I made the *supreme* sacrifice and gave up
beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed
by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could
stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the
time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I
had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made
sure that I released ALL the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!"

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I
took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he
returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I
seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It
was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and
fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
was worse than cooked cabbage!!!

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells
signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more
times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it
feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!

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Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole looking up
A blonde walks by and asked what they were doing.

Paddy: "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole, but
we don't have a ladder."

The blonde took a spanner from her purse, loosened a few bolts
and laid the flagpole down. She pulled a tape measure from her
pocket, took a few measurements and announced that it was
eighteen feet and six inches. She then walked off.

Mick said: "Now, to be sure, isn't that just like a blonde!
We need the height and she gives us the length."
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Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like a Slinky ..... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you R2000.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you R300.00?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

" Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers.
What you do today, might Burn Your behind Tomorrow"
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Henni