Microlighters

Four brothers left home for university, and they became successful
doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their

elderly mother who lived far away in another city.


The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, " I had a hundred thousand Rand theatre built in the
house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."


The fourth said, "You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you
know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met
this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire
Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge
to contribute R100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was
worth it.

Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will
recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one
room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my
groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was
good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me and expensive theater with Dolby
sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've
lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for
the gesture just the same."


"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good
sense to give a little thought to your gift.


The chicken was delicious. Thank you."
Luv Ya, Mama

Voted best Irish joke of 2006

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the Rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top
Prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!


He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the
Best toast of the night" She said,

"Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to
Spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.


The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the
Street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the
Prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."


She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You
Know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell
Asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."