Jokes 2015

Matters of general interest
Hangar22
Thinking of flying
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2014 8:43 pm

Jokes 2015

Postby Hangar22 » Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:30 pm

Nhlanhla Dube, who styles himself as a former 'Commander of the Presidential Jet', runs the South African Flight Training Academy. His school has produced a limited number of licensed commercial pilots

The former pilot of President Jacob Zuma and former president Thabo Mbeki is under the spotlight for alleged irregularities at his flying school, where he runs a R66-million government project to train disadvantaged pilots.

The Civil Aviation Authority this week confirmed a probe into the South African Flight Training Academy (Safta), owned by Nhlanhla Dube, who styles himself as a former "Commander of the Presidential Jet".

The probe follows several complaints about management of the flight academy in Heidelberg, Gauteng, as well as questions about the "lucrative" R1.2-million-per-pilot programme.

CAA spokesperson Sandy Motale said an audit of Dube's school last week had found operations to be "unacceptable".

"It was discussed and decided that Safta may continue operations, but corrective action plans will be issued for all the findings of concern, and a follow-up audit will be conducted in the next couple of weeks," Motale said.

Dube, a former SAA pilot who was seconded to the military to fly the presidential jet in 2005, is a controversial aviation figure.

Fellow pilots say he is notorious for sparking political debates in the cockpit.

Many were surprised by his transfer to the air force to fly the president.

But the big surprise came two years ago when his company, Vukani Aviation, was picked to lead the National Skills Fund's "New Growth Path" project to train 59 new pilots from disadvantaged backgrounds.

In addition to the R66-million NSF allocation, Dube also received R12-million from the Transport Education and Training Authority (Teta) to train another 12 pilots.

Despite the massive cash injection, only a third of the cadets have obtained their commercial pilot's licence almost two years after the first cadet intake.

In addition not a single cadet has been employed at either of the two national carriers, South African Airways and SA Express - a key programme objective.

The Sunday Times visited the school last week and spoke with several former staff members.

It has emerged that:

- Dube was never commander of the presidential jet, as advertised on his company website. The air force confirmed he was an ordinary pilot, and Dube conceded that he has since resigned from the air force;

- At the time the NSF allocation was made Dube had no flight school, prompting suggestions that he peddled his political influence to trump funding applications from other established flight schools who have been training disadvantaged pilots for years;

- After Dube took over, the school lost several flight instructors, including some who left due to fears over maintenance and pilot safety; and

- There have been numerous recent mechanical "mishaps" and training "incidents" at Dube's school, including tools being left inside an aircraft engine and problems with the school's flight simulator.

Veggie Field 'Mishap'

Another mishap over the weekend saw a plane plough into a veggie field adjoining the Heidelberg airfield.

SAA spokesman Tlali Tlali this week confirmed that the airline had "not absorbed any cadets or pilots trained at his [Dube's] school".

Rival flying schools claim the move undermines the vital need to transform aviation - a move supported by the private aviation industry and considered a government priority.

The Department of Higher Education, which manages the NSF, this week defended the R66-million allocation, claiming Dube had the necessary qualifications to lead the programme.

Department spokesman Khaye Nkwanyana said a similar contract had been awarded to Deloitte Consulting Services in 2012, worth R78-million.

However, the Sunday Times has established that only about R8-million of the NSF funds went to the Deloitte pilot programme, which produced 16 fully qualified commercial pilots within two years.

By comparison Dube's school has so far received almost 10 times as much with only limited results.

Dube this week said the criticism against the school came largely from those who opposed transformation.

"When we took over, Safta did not even have a single black instructor. Today there are more than five black instructors. But because there are black instructors the standard has dropped?"

He said all the government funds were audited and accounted for. "The NSF and Teta come to audit us on a monthly basis."

He also denied the programme had failed to produce results or was over-priced.

The average cost of R1.2-million per student was due to Safta's extensive training that went way beyond normal flight training: "Safta is not only training cadets to do 200 hours [flying] like all the other schools. We go way beyond that."

Democratic Alliance defence spokesman David Maynier called for a proper investigation into Dube, saying: "We cannot allow the National Skills Fund to become a 'slush fund' for the politically connected." :evil: :evil:
Sometimes flying a Bantam
User avatar
Air Hog
The Boss
The Boss
Posts: 1783
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 5:53 pm
Location: Kroon Airfield, Home of Rosslyn Microflyers, Pretoria

Re: Jokes 2015

Postby Air Hog » Tue Jan 27, 2015 10:55 am

Light moment:
Jacob Zuma went out for drinks with some of the ANC ministers.
After a few hours of boozing, Zuma calls the waiter to bring the bill.
The details of the bill listed the following........................
Jacob Zuma R400.00
Cele R250.00
Mbalula R450.00
Vavi R200.00
Total R1,300.00
Jacob Zuma looks at the bill and says to the waiter: "Haikhona! I will pay for everyone but Total must pay his own bill.
I didn't invite him, on top of that he owns a lot of garages all over South Africa.
Johan Welman - aka Air Hog
"The sky is not the limit... it is where the fun starts!!"
User avatar
Sad-Ham
Top Gun
Top Gun
Posts: 514
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:59 pm
Location: Vanderbijlpark

Re: Jokes 2015

Postby Sad-Ham » Wed Jan 28, 2015 3:07 pm

Jack, age 92, and Jill, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack suggests they go in.

Jack addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jack: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jack: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds"

Jack: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jack: "How about suppositories?"

Pharmacist: "Yes"

Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"

Pharmacist: "We do..."

Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?"

Pharmacist: "Yes."

Jack: "Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents’ list..."
Aquilla II ZU-DJS
Wingfield - 124.8

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests