At last - proper border control installed on the Limpopo
Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 2:14 pm
" In a surprising move, local farmers adjacent to South Africa's border with Zimbabwe along the Limpopo, showed solidarity with government's long declared excuse of "lack of resources", by actively getting involved in the guarding of the frontier.
According to local farmer, Mr C Dundee, surplus crocodiles were donated to the SANDF and SAPS to act as a first line of defence against the influx of illegal immigrants. Although originally 15000 crocodiles were donated, 7500 were later recalled from duty when they reported an outbreak of bad indigestion due to the sudden rich diet of Zimbabweans. Their condition is reported to be stable at this stage, and they are being cared for.
The remaining 7500 are still on active border patrol, according to police sources.
According Police-spokesman Uber Sturm Fuhrer Dlamini , locals have been informed not to interfere with the crocodiles in the exercising of their duty. He has also advised locals not to try and catch crocodiles in accordance with the supposed guidelines heard on radio.
Says Uber Sturm Fuhrer Dlamini: " No-no-no: If you want to catch a crocodile - don't listen to the tips on the radio - follow the police's standard practice. Catch a lizard, then beat it until it admits that it is a crocodile."
According to Dlamini, the Police's modus operandi will result in more comrades surviving, and they can still eat the lizard after its confession. He has also advised that the eating of any crocodile will be viewed as an attack on the SAPS, no matter how hungry you are. Says Dlamini: " These are now our fellow law enforcers, and we do not condone the eating of law enforcers. At the end of the day, we are all equal, reptile or not."
- SAPA REUTERS -
According to local farmer, Mr C Dundee, surplus crocodiles were donated to the SANDF and SAPS to act as a first line of defence against the influx of illegal immigrants. Although originally 15000 crocodiles were donated, 7500 were later recalled from duty when they reported an outbreak of bad indigestion due to the sudden rich diet of Zimbabweans. Their condition is reported to be stable at this stage, and they are being cared for.
The remaining 7500 are still on active border patrol, according to police sources.
According Police-spokesman Uber Sturm Fuhrer Dlamini , locals have been informed not to interfere with the crocodiles in the exercising of their duty. He has also advised locals not to try and catch crocodiles in accordance with the supposed guidelines heard on radio.
Says Uber Sturm Fuhrer Dlamini: " No-no-no: If you want to catch a crocodile - don't listen to the tips on the radio - follow the police's standard practice. Catch a lizard, then beat it until it admits that it is a crocodile."
According to Dlamini, the Police's modus operandi will result in more comrades surviving, and they can still eat the lizard after its confession. He has also advised that the eating of any crocodile will be viewed as an attack on the SAPS, no matter how hungry you are. Says Dlamini: " These are now our fellow law enforcers, and we do not condone the eating of law enforcers. At the end of the day, we are all equal, reptile or not."
- SAPA REUTERS -
