Low Flying

[Tumbleweed]

Togetherness Tshabalala weaves his High Impact African Culling
Equipment (Hi-Ace for short), through the rush-hour traffic,
occasionally using the pavement to increase productivity. The
rising sun shines brightly off Togetherness's gleaming, stolen
BMW hubcaps.

Togetherness is a confident man with high spirits, as evidenced
by the stickers on his rear window "GOD LOVES TAXI DRIVERS" and
"AVOID CONSTIPATION - TRAVEL BY TAXI". On the front of his
taxi, between a large dent which, ominously, is in the shape of
a large traffic cop, and the holes from a small spray of
bullets, is a lurid notice reading: "JUKSKEI PARK EXPRESS
INAUGURAL FLIGHT". Using the word "flight" is Togetherness's
own little personal joke.

What we are witnessing is the inaugural leg of what is
hopefully to become a daily service between Jukskei Park and
Johannesburg - a 25 km journey which takes 10 minutes - less if
the pavements are open. The percussion waves from
Togetherness's powerful radio (taken from a BMW Z3) pushes back
the early mist. He is playing Boom Shaka's latest low
frequency, 120 dB hit (How low can we go). He hoots as he
drives. Togetherness hoots at anything he sees - including
trees - as is the custom of his people.

On board the taxi are a dozen white people. They do not come
whiter than this. They are Omo white. But they were not born
white. No, their pallor is due to fear and stark terror. Take
John Mleka. Never is his life has he done 0 to 100 km/h in six
seconds - especially not in heavy traffic.

Denise Mthaba's colour has changed from green-black to a sort
of waxen ivory as quickly as the last traffic light had changed
to red (a colour which traditionally prompts taxi drivers to
make even more haste).

Togetherness regularly looks over his shoulder while driving
- even for a full minute - asking passengers their
destinations. Elizabeth Mkize, sitting right at the back - has the
opportunity
to say "Rendbeg centa" even though she works in Johennesbeg.
Randburg was coming up fast and it suddenly seemed near enough
for her. She worries about how she will make her way to the
front - but only fleetingly, because the taxi has now reached
Randburg and Togetherness has stopped. He has stopped as
suddenly as a plane might stop up against a mountain. Now
EVERYBODY is at the front in a warm, intimate heap. Elizabeth
alights as gracefully as anybody can with one knee locked
behind the other. She is vaguely aware of passers-by loosening
her clothing and shouting, "Give her air!"

Togetherness bowls happily along Jan Smuts Avenue, overtaking
a police BMW which is chasing a getaway car. Then he overtakes
the getaway car too, exchanging boisterous greetings with the
driver whom he knows. Togetherness is steering with his elbows
because he needs his hands free to check the morning's takings
and to wave to girls on the pavement. What is even more
remarkable is that Togetherness is doing this despite the fact
that his taxi does not have a steering wheel. When
togetherness's friend, Sipho, stole this vehicle, it was
fitted with a steering lock, so Sipho had to remove the
steering wheel. The spanner that Sipho has attached to the
steering bolt in its place is quite adequate though.

Togetherness smiles and turns to his passengers as he
accelerates past a truck on a blind rise. He announces "Ladies
and gentlemen, thees ees your ceptain. We will shortly be
lending in Johennesbeg. Plis make sure your seatbelts are in
the upright position, end your seats are fastened. Thank you
for flying with us today. We hope to see you soon again."

John Mleka is gripping the seat in front of him so tightly,
that he notices his finger tips have gone transparent, as a
passing taxi fires a brief burst from an automatic weapon in
his direction. Togetherness now reaches the city and merges
with the in-bound traffic like his ancestors merged with the
British at Isandlwana. He stops at his usual disembarkation
point in the middle of an intersection and picks his teeth
patiently while people sort out their legs and teeth, before
groping their way towards a pole around which they can throw
their arms. By the time his passengers' eyeballs have settled
back in their parent sockets, Togetherness is already halfway
back to Jukskei Park with another load of passengers.

EEIISSHHH !!!

[Bennie Vorster]

You shuld realy think of publishing a book.

[eyetie]

Eish excellent delta Imagine togetherness on a trike

[KFA]

[Leprachaun]

well done keep it up ,

[Arnulf]

You know why they squeeze so many people into a taxi?

So that it keeps its shape when it rolls.

[kb]

nice one, gave a morning smile. Keep 'em coming, (jokes I mean, not the taxi's)

[Bennie Vorster]

How do you know when a Taxi rolls.....................................?











It makes

Eesh.....Eesh.........Eesh [/i]

[Big-D]

:D Now that was funny - Excellent Delta VW - Keep it up

[Tailspin]

Hey that put a smile on my face

Actually been in one of those low flying projectiles really enhances the pucker factor the further forward you sit as you get to see more of the kak as it happens

[Cali]

You know the taxi is getting full if there is a pax between the driver and his door.