The joke thread

[phoenix]

The Irish bobby walking his beat comes across little Shamus sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out." Begorrah lad, why you be crying so hard?'. "Its me ma" he cries. " She just up and died, so she did". "Well, good heavens to Betsy" says the cop. "Do you want me to call Father Murphy to comfort you, me lad?". "No", says Shamus,"Sex is the last thing I feel like".

[NickSwardt]

[falconp1]

Most people today think it improper to discipline children,
so I have tried other methods to control my kids when
they have had one of 'those moments.'

Since I'm a pilot, one method that I have found very effective
is for me to just take the child for a short flight during which
I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect
on his or her behaviour.

I don't know whether it's the steady vibration from the engines,
or just the time away from any distractions such as TV,
video games, computer, iPod, etc.

Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving
after our flight together. I believe that eye to eye contact
during these sessions is an important element in achieving
the desired results.

I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son,
in case you would like to use the technique

[wiskeyfoxtrot]

How older guys pic up chicks !!!!!!!!

I met a beautiful girl in the park the other evening..... There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees, quivering and laid on the grass at my feet. As we lay making passionate love, i thought..........

" Wow!, this Taser is well worth the money..... !! "

[Air Hog]

Brakpan:

Wat is die top punt van armoede in Brakpan ? : As jou ma "polony en kaas" op jou brood skryf met n kokie

Vrou vra vir man van Brakpan " Wat hy sal koop as hy die Lotto wen ? ? " Die ou dink so n rukkie en se :" Ferrari mags vir my Contina" !!!

Wat noem jy n Brakpan vrou wat n wit sweetpak dra op n Saterdag middag ? ..... n Bruid !!!

Dit reën al vir 3 dae in Brakpan. Al wat my skoonma doen is deur die venster staar. As dit so aangaan, sal ek haar seker moet laat inkom!

Brakpan Graad 1 vraag - Wat is manlik en vroulik van meel? - Mieliemeel en koekmeel.

Wat noem jy dit as iemand 'n kar “oorspray” in Brakpan ....... “Change of ownership”.

[Boet]

As ek die lotto wen, sal ek heel eerste vir my n skoon onderbroek moet koop.